Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
