I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
