I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
