Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
