I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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