Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
