it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
