Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
