I just saw a hot homeless man
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
