One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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