that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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