I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
