Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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