Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
