I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
