The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
