Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
