It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
