I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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