idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
