I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
