just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
