Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
