My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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