You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
