for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Someone came in the potted fern
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
