How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
