We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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