dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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