Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
sex in a hospital.. check
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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