nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
