brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
