i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Terrible idea I love it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
