You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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