i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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