first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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