I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
