3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you win again, gameday.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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