He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
