Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
