I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
