I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He better not be in your backpack
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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