Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
