Whod you bang
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
