I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
