Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
