Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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