Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
