He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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