this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
