im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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